~*~Sugar Tales - Road Trip~*~
by CoopersMcFarley
Summary: Formerly known as Sugar Plus 12 hour Car Drive Equals Another Fanfic. Proof at last that sugar can and will make your muse hyperactive.
1. The Way There

1 Chapter 1 – The Way There  
  
A/N - This is modeled after certain car trips…..any resemblence, in character or appearance is purely and completely coincidental. If you don't want to read it, R/R anyway!!!! :~)  
  
Disclaimer – Don't own any of the people, except for T.S.I. Author and her cat.  
  
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It was a trip to the Keys, driving, from New York. A middle school band trip. 24 hours of sugar induced, coffee fueled madness, complete with charter bus, back rooms, and all our favorite characters from LotR (including Boromir!!) If there is any slash, it is purely accidental. R/r, please please please pleas please please!!!!!  
  
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It was the start of the 24 hour straight band trip. Bags were checked in, everyone loaded up on the bus, and chaperones (Gandalf, Elrond, etc.) were nowhere in sight. Of course, no food or drink was allowed, but, as usual, there was a vertiable storehouse of sugar contraband placed in strategic locations under floorboards, between seats, and in instrument cases.  
  
The back room, as they were told in all seriousness by Gandalf, was strictly for instruments. What a joke.  
  
(A/n: For all my friends, you know what I mean. If you don't, read on!!!)  
  
The seating arrangement was as follows:  
  
Driver  
  
Galadriel/Gandalf Faramir/Eowyn  
  
Aragorn/Arwen Frodo/Sam (a/n: like u didn't see that coming!)  
  
Merry/Pippin (a/n: ditto) Boromir/Legolas  
  
Eomer/ Elrond Crazy sugar induced author/her cat  
  
Back rooms (OFF LIMITS)  
  
  
  
One Hour into trip………….  
  
" 950 bottles of beer on the wall, 950 bottles of beer……."  
  
"Pippin, will you SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Take one down, pass it around….."  
  
"Don't push me!!!"  
  
"Listen to her! Last time, she cracked and threw Merry off the bus!!"  
  
"Hey! You promised to never tell anyone!"  
  
"I lied. Sue me."  
  
"Well, I could just let slip a certain secret about who it was with the lampshade last time!"  
  
"Zip it if you value your life!!"  
  
"949 bottles of beer on the wall! 949 bottles of beer on the wall, 949 bottles of beer!"  
  
"Shut up already!!!"  
  
"It's a free country!"  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
"You should!"  
  
" Do tell."  
  
"Take one down, pass it around, 948 bottles of beer on the wall!"  
  
~~~  
  
"Pass the goods."  
  
Eowyn reached down under the seat, slid aside the panel, and got 5 Jolly Rancher lollipops out.  
  
"What flavor?"  
  
"Lemon."  
  
She passed the lemon down to Boromir. At once she got orders.  
  
"One cherry!"  
  
"A watermelon!"  
  
~~~  
  
Finally, Eomer, Elrond, Legolas, Boromir, T.S.I. Author, and Snowflake, her cat, had succeeded to stop Pippin's singing.  
  
~~~  
  
"This is the song that never ends!"  
  
"Not again!!!"  
  
"Yes it goes on and on my friends!"  
  
"Can it, midget boy!!"  
  
(A/n: I have full respect for all the short people of the world, including myself)  
  
"Some people, started singing it not knowin what it was!"  
  
"Shut UP!!!"  
  
"And they'll continue singin it forever just because this is the song that never ends…."  
  
T.S.I. started banging her head against the wall.  
  
"Shut up (thunk)….Shut up (thunk)…..Shut up(thunk)…"  
  
***************************************  
  
And so it continued for about 5 minutes.  
  
"I can't take it anymore!!!!! Anyone who wants to live, follow me!!!"  
  
Everyone followed Arwen to the "forbidden" back room.  
  
She turned on the lights and at once pepper party lights turned on. She got out a bottle.  
  
"Spin the bottle!"  
  
  
  
(A/N: once again an 8 hour drive and sugar have put my muse on overdrive! Any and all reviews are welcome!!)  
  
:~) 


	2. Still on the Way There

Disclaimer: Don't own it, blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc.  
  
Rating: G to mild PG for misc.  
  
Summary: If you're looking for saddness, look elsewhere!  
  
Notes: Continuation of too much sugar and long car trip story. Also, in case anyone is reading this and wondering, Bill is my muse. This[ :~) ] is his signature. I'm looking for 5, yes 5, reviews to continue. So for all the little people, and especially Bill, REVIEW!!  
  
Still on the Way there!!!!!!!!  
  
12 disposable cameras, 50 pictures, 117 Cream Sodas[1], and 3 hours later, Spin the Bottle was ended. Pippin, Merry, and Sam had all drunk (or is it drank?) 5 sodas apiece. Boromir, Gandalf, Aragorn, and Faramir had had 6 each. Galadriel, Eowyn, Arwen, T.S.I. author and her cat had each drank (or is it drunk?) 8 each. Legolas, Eomer, and Elrond had 9 apiece, and Frodo, the wonder of them all, had binged on 12.  
  
Frodo was in the corner, eye twitching, and mumbling random words.  
  
"But the cat ate the cake….stay away evil chef! Away! You will not have the ring nor me!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!The ring is mine!!!"  
  
The ones who were still concious and had their wits around them (Pippin, Merry, the mortal hotties[excluding Eomer], Galadriel, Arwen[barely], and TSI author and cat[which have high caffiene tolerances], had gathered for the official long road trip game: Truth or Dare.  
  
Aragorn was first. "Truth or Dare, Pippin!"  
  
(A/N: to save time, space, and reputation of all the characters I will leave you to imagine the dares, truths, etc.)  
  
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As all good things don't last, after about 5 hours they gave up. But not without reward! Everyone had at least one good piece of blackmail material on someone else. TSI, of course, had all the material. Frodo had finally fallen asleep. Pippin, TSI, Aragorn, Boromir, and Gandalf had a good game of poker going on.  
  
The pot held $1.25, and it was growing by quarters.  
  
"Two pair of aces and 2s!"  
  
"Full House!"  
  
"Flush!"  
  
"3 of a kind!"  
  
"….."  
  
"Gandalf? What's your hand?"  
  
He looked sheepishly in both directions.  
  
"A pair of twos…"  
  
Mayhem started.  
  
"You what?! Whoa, don't raise the stakes too high for us, Gandalf!"  
  
"I don't know if I can beat a pair, Gandalf!" ~snigger~ "I better fold!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"Heeheeheehee…~snigger~….hawhawhawhaw!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Who taught you to play, huh Gandalf? Eonwe?!"  
  
"Wow Gandalf, you really play well *cough-NOT!-cough*!"  
  
"Shut up….."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
As it was after a few thousand games everyone, once again, got bored. Frodo was still acting VERY STRANGELY.  
  
"Hardeeharhar… I'm Blankbeard the Pirate, ALL FEAR ME!! Hawhawhawhawharrrr…."  
  
"Umm…Frodo…are you ok?"  
  
"Back fool Back! No one backtalks Blankbeard! Die!"  
  
"Frodo get a grip! Ahhhhh! Frodo's gone nuts! Crazy! Over the deep end!!"  
  
Indeed, the sugar and lack of sleep had triggered the autopilot switch in Frodo's brain, and he was chasing Pippin with a large pole( I have no clue where it came from). He looked like he meant bisiness.  
  
"Frodo, get a hold of yourself!"  
  
"Die evil person die!!! Hawhawhawhahwahwhawhawhawhaw!!! HARDEHARHARHAR!!!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! FRODO'S LOST IT!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TBC….  
  
A/n: I will finish this story…..I need reviews!!! Lots and lots and lots and lots!(about 5!!)  
  
----------------------- [1] Cream Soda- An type of soda found only in the South, it is REALLY GOOD! Too bad they don't have it up North…. 


	3. The Group Learns Ole Fashioned Bumpkin S...

Chapter 3 Still Almost There..  
  
A/n: I feel faint. I have not 1, not 2, but 3, yes 3 reviews! I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. This one is for you, Liza Akita! I need ideas, so please drop me a review! Reviews are gud! Gudgudgud! I luv reviews! Happyhappyhappyhappy..  
  
*Bill the muse hastily removes the cream soda bottles on the desk..someone's had a little tooooo much sugar..*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*the chapter begins where we left off, with Frodo gone crazy and with a large pole, and everyone else running aroung panicking.*  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"Run!! Far Far AWAY!!!!!!!!"  
  
"HARRDEEHARRHARR!! RUN YOU KNAVES! ALL FEAR ME, BLANKBEARD, CAPTAIN OF THE BOONDOCK!!"  
  
Suddenly Frodo froze. (A/N: Hey that rhymes! Frodo froze, froze frodo! Heeheehee.)  
  
The autopilot had been turned off, and now the All-Systems are shut down switch had been clicked.  
  
~*~  
  
".......uuuuummmmmmmmm......Frodo, you ok there?....cause you're really freaking us out right about now...."  
  
Yes, as of 15 min. later, Frodo was still unresponsive.  
  
Pippin's curiosity finally got the better of him.  
  
"FRODO!!!!!! R U THERE!! WAKE UP YOU LAZY BUM!! HURRY UP I'M WAITIN!!!!!!"  
  
For such a small human...errr...being...errr....thing...Pippin had a very LOUD voice. I sufficed to say that the SHOUT woke the dead and rattled the windows.  
  
Thankfully, however, the forcefullness of Pippin's SHOUT turned the all- systems go switch back to its correct position, and Frodo returned to the land of the living.  
  
~*~  
  
"Where am I??..."  
  
"FINALLY YOU'RE AWAKE!! WE THOUGHT YOU HAD GONE COMATOSE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" (yes that was Pippin. He had unfortunately forgotten to stop SHOUTING, so certain problems arose.)  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! MY FRIGGIN EARS!!! WHAT'D YOU DO YOU LITTLE MIDGET FREAK!!!!!!" The reactions of the others were quite the same.  
  
"OWOWOWOWOW!!! YOU SHORT LIL' YELLOW-BELLIED MUD-SUCKING BOTTOM-DWELLER!!"  
  
That was, of course, TSI Author. You see, since this is a G-PG fic, instead of the wonderfully colorful words used by many of my peers, I have decided to use the Ole Fashined Country Bumpkin Speech*.  
  
Of course, since the others were temporarily (hopefully) deafened, they couldn't hear nuthin**.  
  
"WHAT!?!?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"  
  
"DANGIT SPEAK UP EVERYTHIN'S SO SILENT 'ROUND HERE!"  
  
Frodo, however, was slightly regaining his hearing. Which meant, thankfully, that his hearing was permanently gone for gud. The others' hearing was still missing.  
  
"OW!!!!!! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS YOU LIL' SHORT FREAK OF NATURE!!! CRUDMONKIES THIS HURTS LIKE TARNATION!"  
  
"PAIN AND SUFFERING!"  
  
"ow..my ears burn like fire...owww!"  
  
And so this continued for about 1 hour.  
  
~*~  
  
*I am (hopefully) going to write a small little book/fic/thing that covers all the Ole Fashined Country Bumpkin Speech phrases and words that I know. If I don't in a month, REMIND ME! PLEEZIE WEEZIES! Ne way, I appreciate you reading the fic bunches n bunches n bunches!! Please leave a small lil review so I know you read it and I don't give up hope! **O.F.C.B.S. sure is fun! FUNFUNFUN!!  
  
~*~  
  
TBC. (A/n: Yes, I finally finished the chapter! This one was for you, Liza Akita! You rule! More coming soon, and I still need ideas!!! 


	4. The Trip There's Finally Over!! YIPPEE!!...

Chapter 4 - Finally, The Trip's Over!!!  
  
Yes, the trip was over. Finally. Of course, there were some minor difficulties.  
  
~*~  
  
"ooooowwwwwwww...."  
  
It was about 4 hours after the unfortunate SHOUTING incident, but Pip and Merry's ears were still ringing. And not really ringing. More like ROARING. Have you ever been in a windtunnel? That's about the sound they heard right about now.  
  
And also, there were minor complications in the food. Apparently, cream soda plus jolly rancher lollipops plus large amounts of noise yield a) Digestive difficulties (stomach ache), b) Paranoia and other shizophrenic tendencies, and c) Hyperness bordering on sleepy insanity.  
  
As the others soon found out.  
  
"hAhAhAhA!!!! Fear ME!!!! MWUHAHAHA!!"  
  
"No FEAR ME!!!! DIE!!!"  
  
And so this went on for about 2 hours. And it kept up until each and every one of them had passed out. With the exception of the driver, who is smart and doesn't drink caffiene, which can be quite intoxicating in large doses, while on the road. GO MR.DRIVER MAN!!!!!!!!  
  
~*~  
  
2 hours later..  
  
"ow. Just ow."  
  
"same."  
  
"Where's my lollipop?"  
  
"Gee.I dunno Merry..do you TSI?"  
  
"Nope, not me either Merry. Oh well, I'm sure we'll find it sometime or other."  
  
Finally, they all woke up. With a rather strange sympton similar to amnesia and a throbbing migraine. All except the driver, who suffered no after- effects. And the cat. Can't forget her.  
  
"Where am I???"  
  
"I dunno. Hey lady, d'ya know here we are?"  
  
"Of course, it's the bus. Headed toward the Keys. From New York. We're about to get there in about an hour. Get some sleep, you look like something with 5 legs and 3 arms ran over you."  
  
Which was of course true. They were the picture of hyper fatigue: dark circles under their eyes, extreme fatigue, etc.  
  
"How do you know all this?"  
  
"I'm the author. I know everything."  
  
"Oh." (o.o)  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Do you realize that hobbits look really cute when they sleep?"  
  
"..." (Pippin- ^_^;; )  
  
~*~  
  
1 hour Later....  
  
"EVERYBODY WAKE UP IT'S TIME TO GET UP HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!!!"  
  
As usual, TSI had recruited Pippin to wake up everybody, on account of his loud SHOUTS.  
  
The effect was instantaneous.  
  
"I'M UP I'M UP WHERE'S THE FIRE AHHHHHH!"  
  
"MY EARS! NOT AGAIN YOU LIL' MIDGET!"  
  
"I AM NOT A MIDGET!!"  
  
"EVERYBODY SHUT IT!"  
  
*crickets heard in the background*  
  
"O K EVERYONE LET'S LINE UP OFF THE BUS IN A QUICK, ORDERLY FASHION..BOROMIR! NO SNEAKING OFF! AND ARAGORN! I'M ASHAMED!"  
  
A severely rebuked Boromir and Aragorn walked back to the line.  
  
"Little tyrant.and I'm at least twice as old as she is, the controlling..."  
  
"Aragorn, I hope you know that I can hear you."  
  
Aragorn - o.o  
  
TSI - *^_^*  
  
~*~  
  
Will Aragorn and Boromir survive the iron fist of TSI? Will they win the band competition? Will Merry get his lollipop back? Does anyone care? Tune in next time for ~*~Sugar Tales - Road Trip~*~  
  
~*~  
  
(A/n: Well that wasn't so hard. Writing chapters of about 500 words isn't so hard once you get the hang of it. I'll try to get as many chapters up as possible, because it's the WEEKEND!!! Free TIME!!!  
  
Ciao, *Anril * 


	5. Wakey Wakey!

Ahhh.hotels..the haven in the hurricane, the oasis in the desert, the place of rest at the end of the tunnel. It being as such, TSI had thoughtfully booked a Best (Worst) Western Hotel. The moment everyone could drag their tired aching bodies out of the bus and into their beds, they slept soundly as little lambs.  
  
Little lambs that snored so loud they could wake the DEAD!  
  
Also, they talked in the their sleep.  
  
"Ooo look at all the little sheep jumping over the wall. Jump sheepies jump! Keep jumpin! One sheepie sheep sheep Two sheepie sheep sheep!"  
  
"Hey look it's the one eye of Sauron. Heh. I allus wondered where it went!"  
  
"Sleepie sleepie...yum..yes I would like some gray poupon Gandalf, thank you for asking."  
  
"NO FEINSIE LEAVE ME ALONE! I TURNED IN ALL MY HOMEWORK! DON'T YELL AT ME! EVIL LADY STOPPIT!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
*5 MINUTES LATER*  
  
"WAKIE WAKIE EGGS N' BAKY!"  
  
"AHHHH!"  
  
TSI had thoughtfully assisted them in waking up. She pulled up all the curtains on all the windows, thus revealing the bright morning sun to gaze upon their tranquil faces.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MY EYES THEY BURN LIKE AN UNHOLY FLAME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OUCHOUCHOUCHOUCH! PAIN AND SUFFERING!"  
  
(a/n: think "malcolm in the middle", if you've seen that episode)  
  
And so it was short notice that everyone was wide awake and ready for a bright new day in the Keys.  
  
~*~*~ ////TBC////  
  
A/N:  
  
Short yes, but hey, I just took a peek at my stories and realized that this was a "dead" fic . So I just wrote a little sumthin to keep it breathing! More soon (hopefully!!!!!)  
  
Ciao, *Anril* and Bob :~) 


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